A work of nonfiction by a certified career coach designed to help mothers decide which post-baby career path is right for them. Abdilla identifies seven career lanes ranging from forgoing income and staying home with the kids to continuing to work full time and arranging for child care. Her tone is both warm and no-nonsense, and reading her advice feels like listening to a trusted friend who just happens to have a leg up on life experience. While she immediately comes across as an authority on juggling motherhood and career management, she’s also refreshingly realistic, admitting in her introduction, “We all screw ourselves in one way or another when it comes to our set up at home and our careers.” Her detailed descriptions of the pros and cons of each “lane” bring into relief common-sense arguments that might not be apparent to emotional and overwhelmed parents-to-be. In the chapter titled “The Slow Lane,” Abdilla notes that although working reduced hours might seem like the ideal solution for a career-minded mom, “You might condense a full-time job into less pay and have fewer hours to accomplish it.” While the specificity of the scenarios Abdilla outlines allows parents to decide which lane is best for them, it also means that readers will be able to skip inapplicable sections. There’s enough general information, however, to make the whole book a worthwhile read for most new parents. Interactive exercises are helpful and straightforward; some include sample answers to guide readers in completing them. Abdilla also offers information about her own past to help readers see how a person’s history influences his or her parenting style. A chapter about dividing household chores in a way that feels fair to both parents could be useful for any couple. Most parents could benefit from reading this smart, insightful guide about the realities of creating a work/life balance.  

“As a working mom, this book really hit home for me. I love the activities at the end of the chapters. It gave me time and space to reflect and turned out to be my favorite parts of the book. I really enjoyed Going to the Ugly and started to implement that in other parts of my life. It is freeing and allows me to stop wasting energy trying not to feel what I am feeling. I loved the division of labor quiz. The section about the division of getting presents at holidays made me reflect and see the pattern that I have to own of taking things on and not even giving my husband a chance to do it. There are going to be some changes around here.... I also had an aha moment on the coaching activity 2 when I had to pick the words to describe my mothering. I never would want to identify myself as the safety mom and it brought up some fears I know I have to deal with. Overall, the book felt very authentic and I found myself nodding in agreement often. It was interesting reading the other lanes and realizing no one has it really "perfect”.”

“The transformational text and inspirational insights offered in Brenda Abdilla's "What's Your Lane?" provide valuable tools and techniques to working women as they move forward in whichever 'lane' of life they choose. The author combines theory with rationality, exercises with practicality, and guidance with accountability. The book is a 'must read' for professional women in transition who wish to reclaim their careers and redirect their destinies.”  

“I met the author at a writing retreat, where I found her to be extremely sincere, compassionate, down-to-earth, and sensible. Her book is a perfect reflection of her dynamic personality! For some reason, our society encourages moms to put themselves through ridiculous amounts of anguish over career decisions! Brenda has given all moms a truly wonderful gift with this book. In addition to clear explanations and very articulate insights, she provides a wealth of analysis tools to guide moms through tough decisions with clarity and confidence. Even if your life circumstances don't give you much room to choose which "lane" is best for you, Brenda's book provides very helpful insight and tools for navigating your "lane" with success. Chapter 10, alone, is worth its weight in gold! It includes Brenda's "Tools for Awareness: Coaching Assignments and Self Assessments." I know a LOT of moms who would specifically get a tremendous amount of value out of the "Division of Labor Assessment." -This is not to be critical of dads, but many women naturally assume a lion's share of responsibility around the house/family, then get frustrated when they are exhausted and don't get much help. These tools will help facilitate healthy communication between both spouses.   I'm thrilled to have learned about this book and plan to make it part of my "standard" baby shower gift!”  

“As a mother of two, who has been going through a professional transition from working full-time, to starting my own business while working as a stay-at-home mom, and now gearing up to re-enter the workforce, this fresh, contemporary book was recommended to me at the perfect time. "What's Your Lane?" brings clarity, humor, understanding, and insight into the many choices that modern working moms face in the mix of their home-work lives. This book offers something for every mom, no matter her current situation, and it provides excellent points to think about if you are considering making a change at home or in work. Ms. Abdilla has a remarkable way of exploring the depth of these different "lanes" clearly and concisely while also sharing her own completely relatable experiences. This book was a pleasure to read, like chatting with a friend, and I have recommended it to just about every mom in my life who rises to the meaningful challenges of motherhood and career, in whatever combination that may be.”

“Just finished this awesome book (which says a lot right there, as a busy Mom of 3). Loved it. It helped me understand which career lane I want, what has been in my way and actions steps I can take to move myself forward. Emotionally provoking, but, hey, so have the last few years! This was very empowering. It gave me career clarity, after leaving my big corporate gig a few years ago and struggling with lots of inner conflict, and what to do. Be sure to read all the lane descriptions, because I almost didn't, and it was critical that I did. Turns out, the lane I thought I wanted (part-time away from home) is not really the lane I really want, and I would not have realized that unless I read them all. And, yes, I can be the Mom I want to be. HUGE revelation. Overall, it's straight-shootin', funny and eye-opening. WHY do so few women talk about this?! The division of work assessment is priceless (I need my cleaning lady back!). Great read.”  

“This perfectly written book gives moms the insight, clarity, validation and support that we all need. Abdilla's ideas are practical, real and delivered with all the humor and brevity to help moms figure out how to make the most of this very important (and often crazy) time in our lives. The author's division of labor segment is worth the price of admission alone. I certainly wish What's Your Lane? existed 20 years ago! This is my new "go to" gift for my friends and family.”  

“At last someone tells the truth about what mothers really need to know about how to get career clarity and feel great about their choices. The book is full of ideas that work in real life. It feels like she has secretly come into your house with a video camera and knows exactly what will help you. Abdilla honestly and humorously outlines the pros and cons of the various ways to work and be a happy and healthy mom in the 21st century. I can't think of a mother who would not benefit from reading this book. I am buying a stack of them to give to my daughters and friends.”  

“A great book!!! This is a quick and easy read but important read for anyone having children that wants to look at their options whether to work the same as they did before the child, less, more or not at all... The questions that Brenda asks you to answer really help you come to a conclusion about what would be your best choice. Even if you thought you knew your choice, she brings up great thinking points. I highly recommend this book.”

“What's Your Lane came into my life at the right time. After reading the book, the face of my household changed. I became very clear with the direction that I wanted to be heading. Motherhood can be a very confusing time for knowing what works best for the whole family. After reading Brenda's book, I was able to have the "difficult" conversation with my husband, understand how the household runs and become very clear what my next steps were to create my career path. Brenda's sense of humor throughout the book helped me realize I am certainly not alone on this journey. I believe this is a must read for all mothers, regardless how old your children are. Thanks Brenda for bringing the elephant out of our household closet. Amazing!”

“As the full-time owner of a marketing agency and mother of one, life is often overwhelming. This book showed me that I'm not alone in this feeling and provided easy-to-implement exercises to take the edge off. Without booze! I loved especially the exercise where you discover your household's Division of Labor section. My husband and I are at 23%, 62% respectively with 15% outside help. I learned that I resent laundry. I resent drop off and pickup. I resent meal planning, shopping, prepping and cleanup. I am now paying the housekeeper $10 more per visit ($10!!!) to finish and fold three loads of laundry. After reading this book and having a simple conversation, my husband and I will be 50/50 rather than 0/100 on school pickup and drop off. Huge difference. HUGE! I have an almost five-year-old. A Montessori girl. Smart. Capable. Willing. We have made provisions so she can help more with meal preparation and cleanup. She can already pour her own freaking glass of milk! Why have I been doing this for her??? God love motherhood. Sometimes I can be so stupid. Blind, really. Other times, I’m smart as a whip. This book helped with the smart part.”    

A straight-shooting, funny, and powerful book that offers mothers the real truth about the pros and cons of their working options. What’s Your Lane is chockfull of innovative, practical strategies for being happy with your choice.

With a perfect blend of empowerment and clarity, What’s Your Lane helped me envision the career life I want, while being the mother I want to be. Brenda’s sense of humor and brilliant coaching exercises allowed me to think for myself and move forward pursuing my goals.  Every mother needs to read this book.  It is truly groundbreaking.

Figured out MY lane and this has catapulted my thoughts and actions. The division of labor assessment is priceless.